Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Somewhere In The Middle

Everyone has struggles in life.  Whether it's an addiction, family conflict, or just basic unhappiness.  My struggle is and always has been my weight.

I started to notice my weight was at an undesirable number when I was in middle school.  I can remember being weighed in PE class and the teacher telling me, "You better watch it honey or your weight will get away from you!"  I was in the 7th grade and really started to have poor body image.  As I got into high school, you can imagine it only got worse.  My peers were really cruel and at some point I gave up.  I just let myself go.

This behavior continued through college.  In my early twenties I got to my heaviest.  I tipped the scales at waaaayyyy over 200 lbs.  I isolated myself from relationships, and then when I was in a relationship it wasn't healthy.  I finally took charge of my life at about 24 years old. 

I joined Curves, and started eating a healthy diet.  The weight finally started coming off.  I lost a total of 88 lbs. in a period of a year.  I kept it off for several years.  I was finally into single digits in clothing size.  However, I still saw the heavy person in the mirror.  Looking back at it now, I wish I could have been happy about my success.

One of the few pictures at my heaviest

I was a size 8 here and thought I was still heavy

Over the next several years, I got married, had two babies, and put weight back on.  We also moved out of town and with depression I put on even more weight.  I still wasn't at my heaviest, but I was getting there.

So where am I now???  Somewhere in the middle.  I am about 20 lbs heavier than my skinniest, but only about 10 lbs away from my goal weight.  The goal weight was decided upon by my doctors, and what is right for me.  I won't lie, I still obsess about the number on the scale, but more importantly I want to be healthy for my boys.

Somewhere in the middle, this December
I want to teach my children about eating healthy, exercising, and living a good life.  I am happy to report, that both Jay and myself have had a great first week at the gym (we even got a workout in together).  There are some naysayers about this change in our lives.  I won't let it discourage us :)

So why blog about this??? I wanted to share my story and put a voice, name, face to weight struggles.  I will continue to keep everyone updated on our progress.  I would also love to hear about other victories in conquering their own issues, whatever they may be.

Oh by the way, I finally got my "special pans", so I am working on a new bread recipe.  Coming soon, I promise!!!

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